Norman Cotterell, PhD
Senior Clinician, Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy
In my practice, I find that many clients struggle with rumination about the past or worries about the future. When rumination and worry intensify feelings of depression and anxiety, my goal is to help clients let go of negative thoughts about the past or negative predictions about the future. This enables them to focus on their current goals, problem-solve, practice skills, and build relationships—in the present. There’s a metaphor often used in meditation that I find useful for distinguishing rumination from worrying, and helping clients live more fully in the present.
A recent client I’ll call Jared was plagued by both rumination and anxious worry. I asked him to imagine three buttons: rewind, fast forward, and play—ones he might see on a remote control, or on an old cassette player.
I explained that the rewind button is the rumination button. When Jared presses rewind, he replays the past. At best, replaying the past can result in lessons learned or insights gained. But most often, Jared’s rumination was not productive. He focused on negative thoughts (such as “I made so many mistakes. I failed over and over again,”) resulting in feelings of distress. The rewind button feeds his depression and traps him in the “paralysis of analysis.” He fixates on why negative events happened and what he should have done differently.
I then explained that the fast forward button is the worry button. When he presses fast forward, he imagines the future, seeing worst-case scenarios, and asking, “What if?” Jared continually asked himself, “What if my boss gets mad at me?” “What if I get fired?” “What if my girlfriend gets fed up with me?” At best, pressing the fast forward button can help with active problem-solving and risk management. In Jared’s case, the fast forward button fed his anxiety. Clients who are stuck in fast forward can become scared of the future and may freeze or avoid challenges.
The play button enables clients to access the present. When clients press the play button, they are able to let things unfold in the present moment without worry or rumination. Pressing the play button has many benefits. People who live in the present experience stronger connections to themselves, including their own thoughts, emotions, and sensations in their bodies. They also experience stronger connections to other people. They can observe their environment, and notice and accept moments of joy, as well as moments when they may feel uncomfortable, anxious, or sad. I explain to clients that when they press the play button, they are able to simply “be.”
I told Jared that when he feels distressed, to stop and notice if he hit the rewind button or the fast forward button. He then imagines releasing the rewind button or the fast forward button, and pressing the play button. I taught him some short mindfulness exercises to help him come back into “play” mode—noticing his surroundings using all five senses, or observing and describing an object in detail.
Pressing the play button doesn’t mean that we no longer reflect on the past, learn from the past, or grow from the past. Just as it doesn’t mean that we don’t prepare for the future, plan for the future, or hope for the future. It just means that we do all of these things from the vantage point of the present.